A Paperwork Ninja
by Heiryuu
Summary: an explanation of how paperwork shows up on the hokage's desk from the eyes of a paperwork ninja. a ninja tasked with transporting all the documents and files from one side of the village to the other.


I do not nor will I ever own Naruto… unless I by the manga and anime. Then I can enjoy Naruto forever!

I thought of the idea for this fic when I was reading a comedy fiction.

"WHERE DID ALL THIS PAPERWORK COME FROM?" Sarutobi yelled as he saw that his paperwork pile had grown to 3 times its original size since the meeting had started.

Okay we can stop there. Now we've all heard this or read this sentence before. Usually it is played for comedy and sometimes we see it used to show how powerless our Hokage really is. So why is this important at all? Well, that's because I'm a paperwork ninja.

So what does a paperwork ninja do exactly? … do you really need to ask that? (sigh) fine a paperwork ninja does exactly what is on the tin. Paperwork ninja carry legal documents, classified files, permission slips, mission scrolls, and laws to and from the different administrative offices in a hidden village. Sounds boring right? Well there are a lot of perks that come with the job.

Well now you're asking what are these perks? Well for one you get paid really well, two when you join you get to become invisible. And three you get to act as a final line of defense for the Hokage. Okay I know what you are thinking. Invisible? Isn't that what ninjas are supposed to be anyway? Well yeah, but did you see Naruto when he was 12 or when he was 16 or when he became Hokage? Anyway the Hokage is taught a special jutsu before he takes up the hat and robes. This jutsu is the invisibility jutsu used on paperwork ninja. The jutsu turns us invisible as long as we are touching paper of any sort.

There are some downsides to this though for instance. If you ingest paper or if you had had a large amount of paper in your body then you are always invisible. One guy had been hit in the throat by one of Konan's Paper shuriken and a tiny piece had broken off inside of him. The doctors didn't bother to get it out it was so small you know? Well he became a paperwork ninja afterward and to all of his friends and family he had basically died. He couldn't talk to anyone and he couldn't be seen by anyone other than the other paperwork ninjas. The poor guy hung himself after he saw his girlfriend _**with**_ another man… a week after he had disappeared.

Yeah we live lonely lives but hey, at least we can go drinking at the end of the day right? Wrong. Apparently as a side effect of the jutsu we are invisible to bartenders. I swear I have stood right next to a barkeeper and yelled for a bottle of sake and he just kept on ignoring me. One of these days I'm gonna stab a barkeeper and say "hey I'm right here can ya see me now?"

Now the last line of defense for the Hokage, well that's easy we are a group of ninja that cannot be seen or sensed using any chakra sensing abilities sounds like the perfect Praetorian Guard right? Absolutely, and why not most of us are as strong as ANBU and we can't be sensed at all. So why aren't we used for assassination missions? Because, for some unknown reason our powers of invisibility only work in the village that the jutsu was cast inside of. I know retarded right? I guess whoever it was that created the jutsu failed to see how useful It would be for assassinations and espionage. Maybe the creator of the jutsu just had a strangely noble sense of fair play.

Despite the fact that we are unknown we paperwork ninja provide a lot of good things for the village. The next time you write a report for the Hokage or fill in a missions request just remember that a paper work ninja is watching you and is about to provide more comedy and protection to the people out there who love to see our Hokage fill out paperwork.

I don't really know why Iwanted to write this but I did and that's all that matters. Anyway yes I am alive and well but school has been annoying, also my writers block is pretty bad I am officially blocked on my back up for my back up for my back up for my first full length story. So sorry no updates there. I may have another story up soon something much darker than what I normally write. Anyway until then this is Heiryuu Signing out


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